Sinking.

Different people have different things they're good at. I'd like to think of myself as a jack of all trades. But if i had to name out one thing that i think i'm particularly good at, it'll be talking to people, helping people with their problems, making people feel better about their situation. I'm pretty darn good at solving other peoples' problems but i can never get around to solving mine. I mean the best surgeons in the world can't operate on themselves when situation arise. Maybe there is some kinda weird cosmic balance. God probably thinks tht if i'm problem-less, i wouldn't be as good when i'm helping people. Kinda sucks if u ask me. Seriously.

What i seriously don't get is tht whichever road i take, or whichever method i employ seems to always be the wrong way. Whatever i do is wrong, whatever i think is wrong, i do things this way i get condemned, i switch to do things the other way i get condemned too. So which way to go seriously? Sometimes people should just state what they want from me. Because i'm rather clueless these days. Because i've had enough of experimenting all kinds of methods tht ended up failing me. Because i always had to be the one stuck in the rut.

WHICH WAY TO GO SERIOUSLY?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! ENOUGH OF MAKING ME FALL HARD ON THE CONCRETE GROUND ALREADY! ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH!!!

Sometimes it really makes me wonder if i'm just one of those unlucky souls who are not meant to be happy. Those sorry souls who end up alone with sad eyes tht tell of how much hurt they've experienced over the years. The kinda hurt whereby people pretend they understand n know exactly how it feels n then try to relate n recount their own experiences when in fact no one freaking understand!

Seriously, when i say i dislike talking bout certain things, it's for a good cause. For example, maybe coz i wanna start things off with a freaking clean slate! CLEAN SLATE! BLANK SLATE! TABULA RASA! Which means no comparison whatsoever! No how did u do things back then when tht happened or what did u do with the other situation. This is me. ME. N as far as i'm concerned this is the me tht anyone needs to know, not the me 2 years ago, not the me 5 years ago. Just me now.