Have u ever woken up in the middle of the night in shock, feeling totally unnerved, heart racing fast, mouth dry, cold sweat, teary eyed, and having a headache so bad u feel like u've been hit by a truck, literally? That kinda sleep is probably the worst kind anyone can have.
I went to bed roughly bout one and a half hours ago feeling moody and dragging another poor soul down with me. It's always like tht when exam's around the corner. I beat myself up, being stressed up, when i don't even know tht i'm stressing myself up. As tho acting as a defence mechanism, i'll just shove the fact bout my exams one side, not even wanting to think bout it. Everything would appear to be absolutely fine on the surface, and i'll be feeling absolutely fine. And then the disturbed sleep will start, the nightmares will start, the headaches will start and the crankiness will just follow suit. To think i thought i'd be able to sleep til bout 8am. I guess tht's wishful thinking on my part.
It's nightmares after nightmares and i'm sick of it! First it's being trapped at a cemetery i can't get out of, then it's horrible horrible blood and gore, and today, today's one was the worst ever. I woke up asking myself if it indeed happened.
In my dream, i was lying on my bed, talking to the boyfriend on the phone. Talking bout i can't remember what, and then his mobile rang. He answered, spoke to whoever the hell called, hung up, and then told me tht it was his ex girlfriend and this Tania girl and they were downstairs his house. And then i exclaimed, "WHAT? What's so important tht it can't wait til tomorro?" And then he said he doesn't know and tht he was going down to find them. So fine. He went and i waited for his call, which never came. So smart aleck me decided to drive over to his place only to find out tht ALL 3 of them had adjourned up to his place. He came down to find me. We had a row and i don't know how one of his friend popped out beside us out of nowhere. Quarrel, quarrel, fight, fight, he was shouting at me at the top of his lungs asking me why the hell i went over for. Considering the fact tht i haven't witnessed my boyfriend's angry side yet, tht moment was pretty darn scary and upsetting. And i was crying, and i was crying, and then i cried somemore. And his friend which popped outta nowhere just stood there and did and said nothing. The shouting and the crying went on for quite awhile. The shouting ceased immediately when the 2 girls appeared, and my boyfriend was smiling from ear to ear like someone has just informed him tht he's struck toto, and the crying girlfriend was forgotten and became invisible. The dream went on with me standing there, still crying, watching them talk and joke and what not and my boyfriend totally didn't care. And then i woke up.
Noticed how vivid tht dream is in my mind. It's fucked up i tell u! FUCKED UP! This kinda nightmare is the king of nightmares in my dictionary. I fucking hate it! It's seeing what u don't want to see most acting out right before your eyes and the whole heart sinking feeling tht your boyfriend don't give two shits bout whether anot u're gonna cry til your eyes pop out is just horrible. Horrible Horrible Horrible!
I'm having a bloody headache now. And i just don't wanna think of whatever fuck shits anymore. It'll be all ok after 36hours. No more headaches, no more nightmares, no more waking up a million times while sleeping.
This CCB screen theories fuckcrap is gonna drive me to my grave!
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