Reflections.

Was thinking bout things for awhile. I supposed some things gotta change.

When looking at things from a certain perspective, i think i'm majorly flawed. For starters, i'm short-tempered. Once i snapped, i get extremely angry. When i get angry, i'd usually purposely say harsh things to people tht i most of the time do not mean. And then very often, i'll regret. But because of my pride, i'll always think doubly hard before apologising. It's like a horrific chain reaction. Not forgetting my stubbornness, impatience, pig headedness, and aggressiveness, for the finishing touch. Sometimes i don't even know what my good points are anymore. I understand tht a leopard never changes its spots, but i guess it's time for some spots to start fading a little.

Thruout these 24years, i've made some mistakes, some errors in judgment, some unpardonable wrongs, and plenty of regrets. I used to think tht i'm never wrong, but i guess i'm not all perfect.

A certain issue arose lately and now i'm thinking if i was in the wrong. Cause if i was indeed the one at fault, i'll gladly, ok maybe not very gladly, but i'm willing to swallow my pride and apologise. I don't like mind games. I prefer confrontations. If someone's displeased with my demeanour or certain things i've done, i'd seriously rather they confront me about it, than to bitch behind my back, or worse, think tht my boyfriend should learn to control me. I'm not a dog. I need not be restrained or controlled or what not. Besides, i think confrontations are by far the more honourable way of resolving issues. However, if anyone, ANYONE, wishes to rage war with me, i'd say bring it on! See what i mean when i say i'm aggressive. Hmmmm why do i feel like i'm somewhat contradicting myself? Tsk Tsk! I think tht my brain has been thinking of too many things all at once lately tht it's lost control of which way to turn. Kinda like an overstuffed turkey.

ANYWAYS, lemme save myself a little by saying i can be a very peaceful person...... Most of the time. And i'm usually can't-be-bothered. But i can't help feeling defensive when i feel tht it's a personal attack. And this i feel is a personal attack. One more wrong move and i'll ready my bowmen with their bows and arrows, some men to fire off the trebuchets and catapults, and perhaps some fire spewing dragons flying overhead to further dramatise and complete the entire scenario. Haha!

On another note altogether, i'd say all's been good so far. If this carries on, i have the strangest feeling tht i'll be seeing the new mister for a looooooooong looooooooong time. Tht's of course, if he decides not to carry out the plots and schemes he thinks about everyday of howta be mean to his girlfriend and starts ill-treating his very, very frail and fragile other half. Lol!

Me Misssssssssssssssssssss Him Muchie Muchie!